The world has gone mad.  When I was a kid, if someone brought cookies to share with the class – guess what?  We were excited.  And thankful.  Now, if it’s not gluten-free, fat-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, and taste-free, expect to get the treats sent back home with your kid accompanied by a stern note.  Last month, when I committed the infraction of sending chocolate chip cookies for the end of semester party, Mary, the formidable head of the PTA, informed me that all baked goods sent to the school must be gluten-free, since so many students had allergies.

For those of us who aren’t “domestically-inclined,” as she puts it, she suggests the Sunflower Bakery, which specializes in healthy and wheat-free baked delights.  I think I just threw up in my mouth.  Guess what, Mary?  I’m sending my son to school today with a box of doughnuts I bought from the discount shelf at the low-rent grocery store I patronize, a far cry from the Whole Paycheck Market where you, or your nanny, probably do all your shopping.  And I’m sure he, your child, and all the other delicate little dumplings in the class will be JUST FINE!

“There’s Dylan!”  My son exclaims from the backseat as we pull up in front of his school.

Dylan, Mary’s son? “Is Dylan your friend?”

“Yep.  We’re best buddies.”

Was Mary petty enough to ruin my son’s first friendship because his mother sent low-rent doughnuts to the class party?

Yes, she was.

“Jake, sweetie, I think those doughnuts have gone bad.”  He looks at me strangely but leaves the package on the backseat as he exits the car.

Ignoring the horn honks from impatient parents behind me, I search my phone for directions to the Sunflower Bakery.


Written for the Story A Day prompt – First Person



6 thoughts on “Doughnuts

  1. I absolutely love this, way too funny and yet probably true of that generation as it is almost a fashion to want everything to be gluten free. I am not even sure that that many people are allergic to it!

  2. Excellent first person story. LOL but so, so true 🙂 Ughh! I’m sure a lot of kids are “allergic” today because everything they eat is fat free, dairy free, gluten free and untouched by human hands. How did we ever survive childhood?

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