Hakuna Matata


“Hey there!  Minor disaster over here.  The baby is getting a rash and I was wondering what brand of diapers you think I should use?”

“Hmmm…well, my sister uses cloth diapers and loves them, no rashes.”

“Really???  That’s awesome.  But doesn’t all the washing get annoying…”

“Not sure.  I’ve never heard her complain.”

“What does she use for formula?  Sammy has so many allergies.”

“She breastfeeds exclusively, I think.”

“Oh, I’d love to do that for Sammy, but my milk never came in.  I worked with that lactation consultant in the hospital till I was practically raw…”


What is that smell?!  Oh, Sammy!  I just changed you!   Could you hold for a moment?”

Before the person on the line could protest, the phone was put down.  Hakuna Matata, the famous song the meerkat and the warthog sing to Simba in The Lion King, could be heard the background as little Sammy’s diaper was quickly changed, his mother narrating the entire operation in graphic detail.

“Okay, I’m back.  That was a nasty one…soooooooooooo where were we?  Breastfeeding!   Could you recommend a good lactation consultant?”

“I can’t ma’am, and I have to clear the line.  911 is for emergencies only.”


For Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner

Read more about nuisance 911 calls here.


20 thoughts on “Hakuna Matata

  1. Nice twist Jenn. I’ve heard of some pretty bizarre 911 calls. I think one lady called because the fast food restaurant she was at didn’t get her order right. Sigh… Funny story, btw.

    1. Ha! Yes, there are some crazy ones. I read about one where a guy called because his dreams were becoming real. He was high by the way, though I don’t think I needed to mention that. Thanks for reading!

      1. Although, if you think about it, that might make a cool story. Guy calls 911 and says his dreams are becoming real. The dispatcher chalks it up to a crank call or someone that’s high… except that it’s really happening! Hmmm…

    1. Probably so! My favorite is the one where the lady called because her favorite fast food place was out of chicken nuggets. Nutty! Thanks for reading.

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