“Hey there! Minor disaster over here. The baby is getting a rash and I was wondering what brand of diapers you think I should use?”
“Hmmm…well, my sister uses cloth diapers and loves them, no rashes.”
“Really??? That’s awesome. But doesn’t all the washing get annoying…”
“Not sure. I’ve never heard her complain.”
“What does she use for formula? Sammy has so many allergies.”
“She breastfeeds exclusively, I think.”
“Oh, I’d love to do that for Sammy, but my milk never came in. I worked with that lactation consultant in the hospital till I was practically raw…”
“What is that smell?! Oh, Sammy! I just changed you! Could you hold for a moment?”
Before the person on the line could protest, the phone was put down. Hakuna Matata, the famous song the meerkat and the warthog sing to Simba in The Lion King, could be heard the background as little Sammy’s diaper was quickly changed, his mother narrating the entire operation in graphic detail.
“Okay, I’m back. That was a nasty one…soooooooooooo where were we? Breastfeeding! Could you recommend a good lactation consultant?”
“I can’t ma’am, and I have to clear the line. 911 is for emergencies only.”
Read more about nuisance 911 calls here.