“So, I have something to tell you.”

“Really?  What is it?”

Please don’t say you’re pregnant again.  Please don’t say you’re pregnant again.  Please don’t say you’re pregnant again.  

“I’m pregnant again!”

Of course you are.  You lazy, irresponsible, silly girl.  You can sit next to a man on the subway and get pregnant.

“That’s wonderful!”

“Thanks.  I know it’s probably not the best time…”

Ha!  That’s an understatement.  How old is your youngest?  Six months?  Your husband can’t keep a job to save his life.  All six of you in a tiny apartment.   And yet, how long have I been trying now?  18 months?  Two years, maybe?  And nothing to show for it but an exorbitant bill from a fertility specialist, two miscarriages and a drawer full of negative tests.  You’ve been blessed four times and treat it like a trip to the convenience store.  I hate you.  

“An unexpected blessing.”

“I’m sure your turn will be soon.  I always tell you – you just need to relax.  It will happen.”

Relax?!  Relax?!  How can I do that with you getting knocked up every year like clockwork?  Everyone complimenting you on your ripening belly while I sit next to you like an old dried up prune?  People staring at me with pity in their eyes.  Me smiling like everything is okay.  Which it isn’t!  Because you’re pregnant again.  You, who couldn’t even afford a crib for your last baby!   And you tell me to relax?  Screw you!

“I’m sure it will.”

She reaches over and clutches my hand.

“Thank you for your support.  It means a lot.”

You disgust me.

“Of course.  You’re my best friend!”



9 thoughts on “Under

    1. It’s true. I heard a woman who belonged to an online infertility group say that when a woman in the group got pregnant they would all turn on her and say nasty things instead of congratulating her. Very sad.

  1. It’s such a shame to turn this into a competition! Where’s the love, encouragement, support that is needed….become a real friend! It’s so sad she is not getting what she truly needs in this situation. Great story.

  2. I think the phrase “green with envy” is appropriate. If you wanted a child bodily and prepared well in your life for that child and you can’t have one, but your friend who isn’t financially responsible/prepared has like 6 kids — that would extremely rough on a woman. I think your jealous character is realistic and so is the woman who keeps having kids. But at the same time it’s important to be a good friend because it’s not the woman’s whose having all the kids fault her friend can’t have any. It’s nobodies fault. I think adoption would be a good option. I have a friend from highschool she adopted a girl and then they were in the process of adopting a second child, and she finally became pregnant. Now they’ll have two babies more at roughly the same time. Great job with this piece!

    1. Thanks! I can understand her bitterness too, I just think that when someone is taking you to that place all the time, you should be honest with them about how you feel, or cut ties. That bitterness will end up destroying you.

      1. It’s true. At least they need to spend less time together. Maybe the one lady needs to make more friends that are Mommy friends.

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