The Train

In response to Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers!

Elizabeth made the final steps to the edge of the train platform as the pressure and noise in her head grew louder and louder. Tears dripped from her eyes that she didn’t bother to wipe away.  Her life had meant nothing. She had been a disappointment and burden to her family since her birth. Unnoticed and in the way at the same time.

The train was coming. She saw it round the curve. Not much longer now. She stepped closer. The roar was deafening. It was so close she could feel the heat from the engine. Just one more step and then…nothing….

Suddenly, a strong arm wrapped around her chest, pulling her back. Elizabeth was astounded to see a much older woman standing behind her.

“No, my darling.” She had the sort of voice that sang lullabies and read bedtime stories that sent children off to the sweetest dreams. “There’s more for you yet.”

She smiled at her, then departed the platform, leaving Elizabeth to stand there, dazed, watching the train go by.

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11 comments on “The Train

  1. I liked tale a lot Jenn, you have included so much as to create a great intrigue into the character, well done.

  2. Thank Goodness this older woman intercepted her from killing herself. Great story and your words show the despair she feels. Well done and thank you for participating in the Flash Fiction for Aspiring Writers Challenge!

  3. milliethom says:

    Well written, Jenn. It seems as though Elizabeth has someone watching over her – someone who cares. You leave us wondering who this woman was and where she came from – as well as what Elizabeth will do next. ‘There’s more for you yet’ is very intriguing.

  4. afairymind says:

    A very nicely told story, Jenn. 🙂 You convey Elizabeth’s despair really well. Hopefully she’ll listen to her rescuer’s words and not just throw herself in front of the next train to go past.

  5. excellent, great telling of her emotions. I hope she does find the more…she needs to get on the train and leave her family behind 🙂

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